Light House

Look just ahead of you !
Look before its too late
Look and see upon that hill
There is me
Guiding your rebel heart home.
Showing you your way
Find faith , Dont stray
When the world around you is dark
Remember to look at that lighthouse
It stares right back at you
The lights are on
Dont deny the sign
Just keep on going
Toward the light
No doubt , No fight
Give in , let your inner child float
Reach out for my hand
Dont let go
Just dont let go
And stand by me
By the light house.

The Queen of a thousand dreams !

Give me your hand
Touch me
Burn
It feels good
Sweetly it hurts
We're broken people now
we reply on each other
I am all the words
from your lips
You're the keeper of my voice
You are an island
I couldnt pass by
I needed to discover
A mist of passion
Beautiful love
Under the moonlight
sing for me
a dream
a hope
that you are mine
I am your symphony
Soft , delicate
even loud
a rythme without a reason
We both shall
love and despair

Loving you is like being under water , sweetly going down , and down , and down .. yet I will never drown ...... I always breathe your love ....

Mamma , Please hear me

Mamma , I am stabbed
I am crawling on the floor
Bleeding
I am broken
Cornered
Give me your hand
Hold me
heal the inside of me
Mamma , the pain takes over
Despair
I desperately looking for you
Don't look away
pick up my pieces
Fix my soul
clean the dirt
clean the stain
Mamma , they broke me
They tore me apart
Stitch me together ....

A kiss

A first kiss myth is good,
a myth of pure love,
lips hardly touching
shivering ,
Hearts deeply into each other ,
Loud beats ,
Closed eyes....

We always forget that behind our happy facad and the joyful smile , There is piles of scars and oceans of sadness that go whole way to the very soul !!!!

When the night falls.

When the night falls
I play a song for you
Every night
under the stars
and the silver moon
I play it softly
on the strings of my dying heart
it hurts me
I bleed
but I want to reach you
somehow
I know that you hear me
no matter how far you are
I know that we sleep under the same sky
Every night
you wait for me
to play it for you
when the night falls.

Another you , Another me....

Goodbye is my last word to you

I love you , It hurts .
Happy yet blue
I can't possibly love you more than I do

Then in the middle 

I look at us

Tearing apart

We are no more

but memories

broken dreams

If I could wish

Just one wish

I would wish

for me and you

that somehow

there is another me

somewhere meeting another you

and they re never to be apart

If I could wish

Just one wish

It would be

a better world for me and you

I love you.....

True friend

I planted few flowers, one for each friend .I think they were four, but I only remember one!! When the autumn and winter came ,my flowers died , but when the spring returned the flowers came back to life , but to my surprise only three were standing there , strong and smiling at the face of the sun . One day heavy clouds passed them , angry rain poured heavily from a very dark sky , my flowers fell down , broken and dead. The sun came back again strong and good , I gazed at the two flowers that stood there happy and enjoying the lovely summer breeze . the time passed by and a rage storm visited again my dear flowers , Suddenly , It was only a lonely little flower left. The storm broke you , and in the rain you were drowned , I am very sure , You are my real true friend!!!!

Taking back what's mine

I rise up ,

Once again my dear

I rise up from ashes

Broken dreams

I will find my way back to you

Nothing will hold me back

There is no locks

There is no blinds

I desire you

so you're mine

I will sneak like a thief in the night

I will steal you

I will hide you

within my heart

under my skin

for your sake

I rise up again

Nothing will ever hold me down

I am leaving this old town

Following your trails

finding you

soon enough .....

When I said go.

Walk ,
Don't look back
Leave this world of mine
Close the door behind you
Cut the ropes
Free me
feeling lighter
a balloon
caught in the wind
no longer touching the ground
Daggers into my heart
New wounds , on old scars
Numb
Tears well hidden
behind my thin mask

Dry heart in a dry season....

I was young
My world was small
My dreams were big
Everything was possible
I had wishes
They never came true
Slowly
They were burnt
Into ashes
I held out my hand
to reach for something bigger
Nothing was there
I had a love
Passion and happiness
Things had to crack
Left me broken
I grew older
The clouds were too far from my grasp
I am lonely and grey
A craddle which is not mine
I rock my doll to sleep
I can't see
and I lost my sense of touch
If I am gentle enough
I would give you a smile
from an old woman lips
It wouldnt enchant you
My charm is no longer there
Step into my hut
My remains
Wouldn't do you any harm....

Four Seasons.

Why blue ,
Why sad , and out of control
Why so lost
So disconnected  from everyone
and everything
Close your eyes
Embrace the life's heart
to embrace yours
be the green spring
a clear dew on green petals
be a dry colourful autumn
why not a wet dark winter
on that ocean
be the summer blowing breeze
Open your eyes now
Don't be scared to stare at the sun
stare inside you
Find the mystery
aren't you all in one ?

I had a rose .. For love..

Things were bright ,
A smile on my confident lips
I had eyes on the road before me
Hopes
Ready for love
I took a step toward to it
I reached out my hand
for  a touch , for a taste
A taste which was so bitter
to start with
The love has forsaken me
Not even a chance
for my first step , for my dance
I felt the pain shaking my world
like a sharp sword
Cutting into my rose
I desperately tried to share with someone
never been found
I left it behind
It does not belong
I do not belong
To find me
face to face with a terrible silence
ever-lasting loneliness
inside my walls
I scream
Will you ever hear ?

It has been always mine

I gathered the years of sadness

The years that passed me by

Under my pillow ,

I waited , I waited

For the fairy

To take it all away

Never happened

I held my pain

I made a sculpture

I gave it the eyes

The smile

And the features

The sculpture gazed back at me

Right into my eyes

Confused

Wondering

Why does it hurt so much in the inside

Why the pain so just so much to endure

In the end

It cracked

Piece by piece

Falling down to the floor

Broken  , Damaged

I gathered the piece..

I put it back

Inside me

Where it belongs

Where it always has been …

Magic

You are the magic
Within the words
Beautiful
vivid
You are the smiles ,
You are the frozen tears
You are the fantasy
Of the worlds
You are everyone’s dream
A fairytale
A saga about ancient lands
You are the poetry
The prose
You are everything
I know
You are everything
I don’t know
You are the wind in my hair
And the breeze on my cheeks
You are so hard to describe
You are the magic Santa
Giving me my loving heart back
Wrapped
In a cold Christmas eve
Say: bless you child
before you leave.

The Turning of the tide

That night she tried to sleep watching the sky through the window , The stars were stabs of light against a dark blue cloth , and the moon was yellow and round , In the still of the night, the only sound was a gentle ticking and a soft whisper says : O come to me beloved and stay here , by my side , Come to me at the turning of the tide.

The voice was smooth and silky ,it suggested that wonders existed which would make all she had seen so far become thin and flat and forgotten ,amazing things lay just around the corner and the voice know its way , She moved slowly , following the silky voice , to something she never experienced before.

O come to me beloved and stay here , by my side , Come to me at the turning of the tide.

Cattleya ...

Don’t step into my world

It isn’t a bed of roses
It’s just death echoing inside my walls
Don’t look into my eyes

I am not ready for love

a fighter

I am not here to stay

There is a road ahead of me

A Cattleya

Soft skin

Calm surface

A rose

Deadly thorns

I don’t want to hurt you

Keep a distance away from me

A smile

Promising eyes

I am good in telling lies

A Cattleya

Smells so good

Tell me ,

Does death smell bad ?

A Machine

I remember
I was born same year as you
and you died yesterday
In my corner
I feel tired
I am out of function
yet I am not dead
Don't blame me
If I am not what I seem to be
Don't ask me about love
I am just an idea of life
my head is empty
but I remember everything
and my soul is a void
Don't ask me about my heart
my tears and my smiles
I am just a machine
made of steel
I was made for you
to ease your troubled mind
to please you
but now you're dead
I am left in this dark corner
a loner
Rusting
yet I can't die....

Somebody's friend.

I don't want to be someone's lover
I want to be someone's friend
to be the your morning star
and your evening sun
to sing along with your front door's grass
to take your hand , away we run
into the night
The silence of the moon
and the still ocean
I want to be someone's friend
to be anything that your lover can't
never scared to look into your eyes
a mirror before me
reflecting the darkness in me
pouring light into me
completing me
completing you
I don't want a romance
I just want a friendship
a taste of sweetness
without broken heart
and bitter tears
turning to dust ...
I want to be somebody's friend.

Question .....

I learnt right from wrong ,
I learnt there is no turning back
but going forward
I searched , I found
I asked ,

I received answers

In the middle of everything
There was question

Who am I ?

and what am I about?

then I was silent
mute

like a dead grave

I wonder , I strive

living a dull life
I no longer thrive
the question lingers
who am I ?

Hope ... Faith

With all the sustained pain that resides inside , with all the ache and the bitter tears , my face is wreathing in smiles , Do not get it wrong , this not a mask , I am still me , my eyes are the windows into my soul , you can still see the blues . I just do not want the pain to take over, there is a an empty gap devours my heart but I will fill it with  memories , the memories of all people and the friends that I've lost , or the dreams that have faded , I will swallow my tears , and think about love , happiness and joy. and that somehow , somewhere I will meet them again , I will catch my dreams , I will have it all back again ... Someday !!! It's hope .. It's all what I have left! ... Hope...

...And a flower died

My dear friend , oceans were between us , the distance was so unreal , I wish I could have been there for you  , to hold your tiny hands , to talk about the sun and the rain , I wish I could–somehow-  take your pain away , to listen to you telling me how it felt at night to be lonely behind your closed door , how it felt to feel like the walls were closing in on you . It hurts me when I think of you , that I was not there to say goodbye , to say that you are so dear to me , that I love you , that you are a precious flower to me , to tell you that your words still linger inside my head . I just wish I was there to see your face for the last time … just for the last time , for few second before your body goes six feet under to lay on the harsh ground , and the wet darkness hold you for eternity… as my thoughts float away a single tear paused on my cheek , the hurt , the grief ... I just wish I was there my dear friend….

Next Corner

You walked miles , you’ve seen the snow many times ,Crossed rivers, valleys.

You’ve seen happy faces ,drawn - haggard and sad ones .Under an old cherry tree you rest,you longer want to walk ,you want to build a home and a green garden and live the rest of your life away from troubles , but think again!!! Who knows what will you find in your next miles , Maybe there is a field  somewhere there , where the spring has no end , where the flowers sing and the birds dances on the rhythm of the gentle wind , the grass smells like a sugar candy , and the sky is a dream of many people before you … Keep walking my friend , you will find what you are looking for , Just do not give up , let your dream be your guide.

When the leaves fall.

At the beginning of every autumn
Cold breeze
The dawn kisses the sky's forhead
I taste your memories my dear
At the gate of the cemetery
To recall your smell
At your grave stone
The symphony of falling leaves
Echoes into my soul
Speechless
I cry your name
Every night
I locate a star
I give it your name
And I wish it was you
Watching over me
when I go to sleep
Your heart is under my pillow
Heartbeats
Will never leave  me ...

June Afternoon

You who is there
Those dreams
Those secrets
you planted last june
in your large yard
has it started to bloom?
Was it too cold?
was it too warm
will you dig it up again ?
You who is there
why do you look so old
in your thirties ?
Dull hair
Dull eyes
Among dull souls
You look so homeless
in your nintynine bedrooms castle
A horse , where is the saddle?
Questions ,
Silence me with a gesture
Speak to me
and let me know
to understand
why does your trees
look so similar to my trees
in this June afternoon
was it our dreams you planted ?

Casanova

You wait for him
he is not a saint
yet he has the look of a gentleman
Your heart sings
The bells ring
It's not your wedding
It's just another spring
You hold out your hand
for a dance
he takes another one's hand
You are left alone there
Surprised
Broken
he is not a saint
he just talk like a gentleman
The music plays your dreams
softly you cry
It was never real
It's not your wedding
It's just another spring
none has his heart
he is just a gentleman.

Human

Step out
Step out
Open your locked doors
let the sun greets your face
Let the wind plays with your hair
Clear your skies
Smoke goes away , away
Walk , Walk ...
It's alright
We make mistakes
we are all just human
Pain belong to us all
You are not lonely
You are not odd
Lay down
Lay down
rest that poor head
dream my friend
Dream of something beautiful instead

Mask, Mask , Mask , Masks .. and you .

Today,I decided to talk to you ,about these matters that with myself I too much discussed. About your matters.
and here I am trying to you by the hand and show you around your self.. from the inside , and ensure you that it's not late yet.
I want to say that I know you , I know who you're and I know what are you about. I know your true colors for I can see through you, I can see you , I can read you. and above all this I do understand you.
No , Do not be surprised my dear because someone (ME) knows about the person inside of you , the person who you tried desperately to bury. the person who you hid in that dark corner so none could see. who you tried to suffocate in you.
Many masks you've created and you're still creating , weaving more and more because you are not satisfied with it all. You're still looking for the perfect mask that may hide you from all the surroundings even from yourself. But It's not found yet.
I know you met quite a lot of people and each one loved one of your masks , Each one said :'I love you to death' , but It wasn't meant for you , It was for the mask you're wearing because the people get what they see and none of them saw you.
You met many people but they always had to leave , you always had to shut them out of your life because you knew that you couldn't continue , you knew it from the very start that It would never last because they loved you but the mask you were wearing, It was never you.
People came to your life but how quickly they went away? and you would comfort yourself and say 'They didn't love me , the real me , they loved the mask on me' Yes that's true because that's what you wanted them to see.
Don't you feel your loss? Don't you pity yourself? I am sure you do. because I can Imagine you how lonely you are with your cold masks ... because I can even see through you , deep within you heart a chamber is filled with emotions ,Overflowing from never having been let out. Until the point comes  , when they're so much too bear , alone in your room  , you give in , and everything come out in tears. and then you pick yourself back up , and wipe the evidence of tears from your face,you put a smile and walk back into the world like nothing is wrong,like you are not torn apart , but the truth stays behind locked within the confides of your bedroom.. your escape. 

But me , I am not fooled by you , I am not fooled by the face you wear , You're trying to give everyone the impression that you're secure that all is great and unruffled with you , within as well as without , that the water is calm and that you are in command and that you need no one.
I know that pretending is an art that's second nature with you...
You wear a mask ,You wear a thousand masks , masks that you're  afraid to take off and none of them is you..
even though when you could be off without it ...It's like a weapon that protect you , or like a drug which you are addicted to...yes you're addicted to play a role on the stage of life , your life.
You never want to divulge who are you , because you are scared of who are you , because you hate you existence , you hate being you , you want to be someone else. with a different name , a different address and a different face , a different language , because you are afraid that the others  wont accept you the way you are .
But now I'm telling you and holding out my hand for you!. I know you and I love you .. I love the beautiful person inside of you , I appreciate who you are ... I love you .. be you!!!!
don't hurt yourself to impress  others , don't hide yourself to make others love you , don't waste your youth because of someone...you are so beautiful by being you .. don't rot it , don't shatter your tomorrows because of some old dusted yesterdays , don't let it all burn away!
I will help you , I will hear you and I will hold you .. I will take you by my side and put you under my wings , I will save you , I will make you fall in love with yourself again. and To hell what the others think about you ,because while you will believe in yourself , you'll know that life is much worth living rather than hiding behind a mask , as mask that wont get you anywhere! but by being you , you will conquer everywhere .. all the closed doors  , to new life .. real life .. without a mask upon your face.

Voodoo Queen

She Danced like an african queen
into the night
Twisting back and forward
Moves of a goddess
Unseen magic
Her soul
The drums
Beautifully united
He was wrapped in
Thousand spells
Burning fire
inside of him
Yearning for her
for a kiss , for a touch
The picture went wild
Faster drums
Faster moves
High up , High up
As he gazed at her
Swallowed by the open fire
Nothing left but ashes
Aching inside his soul
Reviving it
Ropes enslaving him
to a passion
a ghost
Was never real to begin with!!!

Theater of broken souls

I am trapped inside of this play
A scenario , and a plot
Unseen audience
Some are satisfied
some are not
Walking down the stairs of life
With every step
A new character is born
It feels like forever
So tired
A broken winged bird
Struggling to fly
Careless world
My lights are not turned off
It's not over
A shriek of a laughter
A whine of another
My curtains have not fallen yet
My performance is yet to begin
With broken wings
Trying my last dance....

Broken Mirror

Let my face not fool you
It's a mask
from my old bag of tricks
The true me
is not caught by you
You may see my grin
but it's not me
Fooling you
not to see my sin
A surface
A lie
Deep inside
I am a broken mirror
Fragments
shattered portraits
It's when the words fail
Only silence can suffice...

Black Swan

As I took a step into your life
I knew a new chapter was written
In my head
I pictured a true romance
I made a frame
I thought of music
and a lovely dance
I had my favourite white dress
and the sun beams danced on my eyes
So bright
It blinded me
I never saw
It was a trap
Once I was there
The darkness fell on me
So late , So late
to realise
You were never real
You were nothing but pain
I tried to escape
I couldn't break the chain
My light within
Is slowly dying
I feel bare
You killed the beauty in me
A black swan was born
As I am leaving your life
I am leaving a white swan
leaving a part of me
There ....

Gypsy....

Somewhere along the road
My heart is buried
I wear some clothes
but they are not mine
The boots , and the hay crown
on my dry long hair
I told you at the very start
I am a gypsy
The road is my best friend
Nowhere is my sweet home
I told you
I am wild
Not easy to tame
As I left you asleep
and the moon played on your closed eyes
Hypnotised
In your dreams
Holding my hands
as I am walking alone again
A sad smile crosses my lips
Seeing your face
when you are awake
Holding nothing but a blanket
With a scent of mine
and a straw of my hay crown
That I once was there
With you.

Uninvited

Hours turned into days
days turned into months
As I am walking
The snow is falling
I know that
Years has passed me by
since the last time I saw your face
Your eyes ,
Your lips
And heard your voice
You still linger in me
Reside within
Has been the years nice to you?
Have you found the love?
Like a river flows
I think of you
A memory
All what is left with me
I am now nothing but a stranger
Uninvited
to step into your dreams
once again
I will just keep walking
on the snow
my footsteps
will be covered soon enough
Like it was never there
Just like me
when I left your world...
A very long t ime ago...

My beautiful friend

My summer is done
My leaves are falling
A long way to catch
a beautiful spring
Deserted hearts
Cold nights
Another day without you
My friend
I try to cover up the hurt
The pain
Swallow my bitter tears
I just have to go on
with my life
and accept the fate
that you are no longer a part
The ache fills my heart
Without you
My friend
You brought a smile to my lips
but all I feel is pain
hits me again ...

Your pieces are falling ....

I once knew you ,
Innocent and pure
True
few steps to heaven

where did the real you go ?

I am puzzled, Confused

Dazed

I know you

No more.

I look at you

but those eyes are not yours,

the smile

and the scorn

A touch

So cold..

A twisted charm

A fading sunset

Embracing the darkness

Yet , I am to convince myself

It's not you.

but something has take a toll on you

....................

My Illusionist

Not long ago ,

I held your hands ,

I felt the warmth within

Magic

A fantasy

then there was none

yet you were real enough

to love you

to dwell in your illusions

I slowly open my eyes

To stare at my bad luck

unfortunate

Pain is a dull knife

desperately

stabbing me

to bleed me

I close my eyes

Once again

to welcome myself

to your  world

away from my reality

Inside your illusion ....

A Child Again ...

Innocence within
Soft eyes
Bright dreams
Clear smile ,
Singing laugh
a river flow
Pure heart
a fresh start
A child again ,
a dream
to be a child again
Riding my fantasy
Laughing everything to happiness

Everything is possible

beyond my head
Love is everything
a crown on my head
is my middle name
A child again ...

The Confessor

Your lips are burning
for a kiss
your skin is glowing
A touch
You desire me
yet you're scared
you want
what you can never have
I am a confessor
Not your lost lover
I am the forbidden  fruit

I have daggers
You travelled for days
for months , and years
to get to me
Your eyes are shinning
Emotions locked
inside
On the hill

from my temple
I look down at you
move closer
I am real
move closer
I am your confessor
be mine
be under my spell
be my lover
forevermore...

Mother ...

My mother is a poem , I'll never be able to write, though everything I write is a poem to my mother.

A love ,
Pure , and strong
Stronger than hurricanes
Softer than a summer rain
Different
The depth
The width
Unique
A love
that takes me high
and softly embraces me down
into an ocean
I am not scared to drown
Your hands are around me
Taking me to a safe shore
Mother , My mother
You're so weak , yet so strong
Your love
make changes
within me
within many more
I love you ...

Pulling Your Strings

Stare into my eyes
I shall ensalve you
Mindbender

Strings , Strings

My puppet

I start the show

You're mine
Try to reach to me
Touch nothing
yet you can feel me
I am inside your head
Can't you hear me
Scream louder
I am sure your can't
Twisted thoughts
in a twisted mind
Don't try to escape
Noway out ,
Don't play with fire
it may burn you
yet from your ashes
I shall build wonders

SheWolf

A lonesome she-wolf
Nowhere is my home
on the run
always
and forever
I didnt break someone's heart
I am not in love
It was just a thought
I can only love me
My heart is a ship
a place for one
two can never go
Try no more
I am not looking your way
I will move forward
where the light comes from
I howl to the sea
in the middle of every night
With open eyes
I stare at the moon
I am never home.
Nothing is mine

Nothing is truly mine...

Wild , Wild Spirit

I no longer endure
A tank ,
I yearn for the vast ocean
Unleashed waves
Wind on my face
Free
I no longer can stand
the ground
I want to fly
Glide high , high

to the seventh sky
A hope
Shall never dies within me
The busy streets
The city lights
Noise
I am never a part
I never was
Green Green
singing butterflies
Never seen

somehow

I've been there ....

As I am fading away...

As I am fading away
I call your name
I know your eyes
tender
I know your heart
your pain
As I am fading away
I look through me
through everything
I break the memories
I tear the pictures

Tell me

how does it feel

to feel like this

tearing away

In the end
I erase myself
quietly
behind my closed doors
Nothing left
a gap
a hole
where my heart used to be..
As I am fading away...

PhoeniX

Tick Tack , Tick Tack
I give , You take
It's my life you shake
With all your lies
Promises
you fake
I twist away
as I give you a nod
you broke me
You had no mercy
I was left for dead
I won't give up
From ashes I shall rise
like the phoenix
Tick Tack , Tick Tack

The clock is ticking
I am coming for you
Watch every step you may take
Tick Tack
Tick tack ...
It's your life I shall shake
Tick Tack , Tick Tack

A getaway!!!

I run
Nowhere
I run as the moon
covers the land
Silver shinning blanket
Wolves's home
Into my ears
The song of thousand broken souls
Crying trees
Into ashes
I run
sound from the ground
beneath me
I wont stop
My heartbeats
Like a drum
Into the the night
Long , scary shadows
Dark woods
calling me
to nowhere
as tears streaming down my face
I left you there
without a word
without a touch
I know , Its cold
inside
but I won't stop
I will keep running
Running away
from everything
I have ever encountered!

Running , Running in circles....

This is it
Stepping out
Im leaving the old me
behind
A cold empty shell
The sun stabs my face
like sharp daggers
Freedom
I drop all my guns
I now
Defendless
I walk , I walk
I find me a door
A barren desert
I search for a sign
a light
to find my way
to a new me
but I only hear sad songs
somewhere out there
Burst of fine firely music
I used to hear
I close my eyes
half-expecting
but then there was nothing
Moving slowly to the closed door
I push
I step inside
I find myself back
at the very start!
The very beginning
at where I was before
The old me ,
An empty shell...
Ironic
I was but running in circles
I have always been
running
and running
in circles....

Don't be shallow , Be a deep water , A river that flow !!!

For so long!

I waited , I waited
for so long
I waited for you
to take my hand
and ask me to dance
to give us a chance
A dream
for so long
I waited for you to knock on my door
On your knees
without words
Asking
to be mine forevermore.
for so long
I waited for you to be my reality
and to protect my dreams
but now I know the truth
Do not breathe on my forehead
I don't want me to fall more
I will mend my broken heart
Once again
I will rebuild my crumblig walls
It's time for me to go
I am stumbling for the door
There's no turning back
It's time for me to go
for so long ,
I waited....