Question .....

I learnt right from wrong ,
I learnt there is no turning back
but going forward
I searched , I found
I asked ,

I received answers

In the middle of everything
There was question

Who am I ?

and what am I about?

then I was silent
mute

like a dead grave

I wonder , I strive

living a dull life
I no longer thrive
the question lingers
who am I ?

Hope ... Faith

With all the sustained pain that resides inside , with all the ache and the bitter tears , my face is wreathing in smiles , Do not get it wrong , this not a mask , I am still me , my eyes are the windows into my soul , you can still see the blues . I just do not want the pain to take over, there is a an empty gap devours my heart but I will fill it with  memories , the memories of all people and the friends that I've lost , or the dreams that have faded , I will swallow my tears , and think about love , happiness and joy. and that somehow , somewhere I will meet them again , I will catch my dreams , I will have it all back again ... Someday !!! It's hope .. It's all what I have left! ... Hope...

...And a flower died

My dear friend , oceans were between us , the distance was so unreal , I wish I could have been there for you  , to hold your tiny hands , to talk about the sun and the rain , I wish I could–somehow-  take your pain away , to listen to you telling me how it felt at night to be lonely behind your closed door , how it felt to feel like the walls were closing in on you . It hurts me when I think of you , that I was not there to say goodbye , to say that you are so dear to me , that I love you , that you are a precious flower to me , to tell you that your words still linger inside my head . I just wish I was there to see your face for the last time … just for the last time , for few second before your body goes six feet under to lay on the harsh ground , and the wet darkness hold you for eternity… as my thoughts float away a single tear paused on my cheek , the hurt , the grief ... I just wish I was there my dear friend….

Next Corner

You walked miles , you’ve seen the snow many times ,Crossed rivers, valleys.

You’ve seen happy faces ,drawn - haggard and sad ones .Under an old cherry tree you rest,you longer want to walk ,you want to build a home and a green garden and live the rest of your life away from troubles , but think again!!! Who knows what will you find in your next miles , Maybe there is a field  somewhere there , where the spring has no end , where the flowers sing and the birds dances on the rhythm of the gentle wind , the grass smells like a sugar candy , and the sky is a dream of many people before you … Keep walking my friend , you will find what you are looking for , Just do not give up , let your dream be your guide.

When the leaves fall.

At the beginning of every autumn
Cold breeze
The dawn kisses the sky's forhead
I taste your memories my dear
At the gate of the cemetery
To recall your smell
At your grave stone
The symphony of falling leaves
Echoes into my soul
Speechless
I cry your name
Every night
I locate a star
I give it your name
And I wish it was you
Watching over me
when I go to sleep
Your heart is under my pillow
Heartbeats
Will never leave  me ...

June Afternoon

You who is there
Those dreams
Those secrets
you planted last june
in your large yard
has it started to bloom?
Was it too cold?
was it too warm
will you dig it up again ?
You who is there
why do you look so old
in your thirties ?
Dull hair
Dull eyes
Among dull souls
You look so homeless
in your nintynine bedrooms castle
A horse , where is the saddle?
Questions ,
Silence me with a gesture
Speak to me
and let me know
to understand
why does your trees
look so similar to my trees
in this June afternoon
was it our dreams you planted ?

Casanova

You wait for him
he is not a saint
yet he has the look of a gentleman
Your heart sings
The bells ring
It's not your wedding
It's just another spring
You hold out your hand
for a dance
he takes another one's hand
You are left alone there
Surprised
Broken
he is not a saint
he just talk like a gentleman
The music plays your dreams
softly you cry
It was never real
It's not your wedding
It's just another spring
none has his heart
he is just a gentleman.

Human

Step out
Step out
Open your locked doors
let the sun greets your face
Let the wind plays with your hair
Clear your skies
Smoke goes away , away
Walk , Walk ...
It's alright
We make mistakes
we are all just human
Pain belong to us all
You are not lonely
You are not odd
Lay down
Lay down
rest that poor head
dream my friend
Dream of something beautiful instead

Mask, Mask , Mask , Masks .. and you .

Today,I decided to talk to you ,about these matters that with myself I too much discussed. About your matters.
and here I am trying to you by the hand and show you around your self.. from the inside , and ensure you that it's not late yet.
I want to say that I know you , I know who you're and I know what are you about. I know your true colors for I can see through you, I can see you , I can read you. and above all this I do understand you.
No , Do not be surprised my dear because someone (ME) knows about the person inside of you , the person who you tried desperately to bury. the person who you hid in that dark corner so none could see. who you tried to suffocate in you.
Many masks you've created and you're still creating , weaving more and more because you are not satisfied with it all. You're still looking for the perfect mask that may hide you from all the surroundings even from yourself. But It's not found yet.
I know you met quite a lot of people and each one loved one of your masks , Each one said :'I love you to death' , but It wasn't meant for you , It was for the mask you're wearing because the people get what they see and none of them saw you.
You met many people but they always had to leave , you always had to shut them out of your life because you knew that you couldn't continue , you knew it from the very start that It would never last because they loved you but the mask you were wearing, It was never you.
People came to your life but how quickly they went away? and you would comfort yourself and say 'They didn't love me , the real me , they loved the mask on me' Yes that's true because that's what you wanted them to see.
Don't you feel your loss? Don't you pity yourself? I am sure you do. because I can Imagine you how lonely you are with your cold masks ... because I can even see through you , deep within you heart a chamber is filled with emotions ,Overflowing from never having been let out. Until the point comes  , when they're so much too bear , alone in your room  , you give in , and everything come out in tears. and then you pick yourself back up , and wipe the evidence of tears from your face,you put a smile and walk back into the world like nothing is wrong,like you are not torn apart , but the truth stays behind locked within the confides of your bedroom.. your escape. 

But me , I am not fooled by you , I am not fooled by the face you wear , You're trying to give everyone the impression that you're secure that all is great and unruffled with you , within as well as without , that the water is calm and that you are in command and that you need no one.
I know that pretending is an art that's second nature with you...
You wear a mask ,You wear a thousand masks , masks that you're  afraid to take off and none of them is you..
even though when you could be off without it ...It's like a weapon that protect you , or like a drug which you are addicted to...yes you're addicted to play a role on the stage of life , your life.
You never want to divulge who are you , because you are scared of who are you , because you hate you existence , you hate being you , you want to be someone else. with a different name , a different address and a different face , a different language , because you are afraid that the others  wont accept you the way you are .
But now I'm telling you and holding out my hand for you!. I know you and I love you .. I love the beautiful person inside of you , I appreciate who you are ... I love you .. be you!!!!
don't hurt yourself to impress  others , don't hide yourself to make others love you , don't waste your youth because of someone...you are so beautiful by being you .. don't rot it , don't shatter your tomorrows because of some old dusted yesterdays , don't let it all burn away!
I will help you , I will hear you and I will hold you .. I will take you by my side and put you under my wings , I will save you , I will make you fall in love with yourself again. and To hell what the others think about you ,because while you will believe in yourself , you'll know that life is much worth living rather than hiding behind a mask , as mask that wont get you anywhere! but by being you , you will conquer everywhere .. all the closed doors  , to new life .. real life .. without a mask upon your face.