Four Seasons.

Why blue ,
Why sad , and out of control
Why so lost
So disconnected  from everyone
and everything
Close your eyes
Embrace the life's heart
to embrace yours
be the green spring
a clear dew on green petals
be a dry colourful autumn
why not a wet dark winter
on that ocean
be the summer blowing breeze
Open your eyes now
Don't be scared to stare at the sun
stare inside you
Find the mystery
aren't you all in one ?

I had a rose .. For love..

Things were bright ,
A smile on my confident lips
I had eyes on the road before me
Hopes
Ready for love
I took a step toward to it
I reached out my hand
for  a touch , for a taste
A taste which was so bitter
to start with
The love has forsaken me
Not even a chance
for my first step , for my dance
I felt the pain shaking my world
like a sharp sword
Cutting into my rose
I desperately tried to share with someone
never been found
I left it behind
It does not belong
I do not belong
To find me
face to face with a terrible silence
ever-lasting loneliness
inside my walls
I scream
Will you ever hear ?

It has been always mine

I gathered the years of sadness

The years that passed me by

Under my pillow ,

I waited , I waited

For the fairy

To take it all away

Never happened

I held my pain

I made a sculpture

I gave it the eyes

The smile

And the features

The sculpture gazed back at me

Right into my eyes

Confused

Wondering

Why does it hurt so much in the inside

Why the pain so just so much to endure

In the end

It cracked

Piece by piece

Falling down to the floor

Broken  , Damaged

I gathered the piece..

I put it back

Inside me

Where it belongs

Where it always has been …

Magic

You are the magic
Within the words
Beautiful
vivid
You are the smiles ,
You are the frozen tears
You are the fantasy
Of the worlds
You are everyone’s dream
A fairytale
A saga about ancient lands
You are the poetry
The prose
You are everything
I know
You are everything
I don’t know
You are the wind in my hair
And the breeze on my cheeks
You are so hard to describe
You are the magic Santa
Giving me my loving heart back
Wrapped
In a cold Christmas eve
Say: bless you child
before you leave.

The Turning of the tide

That night she tried to sleep watching the sky through the window , The stars were stabs of light against a dark blue cloth , and the moon was yellow and round , In the still of the night, the only sound was a gentle ticking and a soft whisper says : O come to me beloved and stay here , by my side , Come to me at the turning of the tide.

The voice was smooth and silky ,it suggested that wonders existed which would make all she had seen so far become thin and flat and forgotten ,amazing things lay just around the corner and the voice know its way , She moved slowly , following the silky voice , to something she never experienced before.

O come to me beloved and stay here , by my side , Come to me at the turning of the tide.

Cattleya ...

Don’t step into my world

It isn’t a bed of roses
It’s just death echoing inside my walls
Don’t look into my eyes

I am not ready for love

a fighter

I am not here to stay

There is a road ahead of me

A Cattleya

Soft skin

Calm surface

A rose

Deadly thorns

I don’t want to hurt you

Keep a distance away from me

A smile

Promising eyes

I am good in telling lies

A Cattleya

Smells so good

Tell me ,

Does death smell bad ?

A Machine

I remember
I was born same year as you
and you died yesterday
In my corner
I feel tired
I am out of function
yet I am not dead
Don't blame me
If I am not what I seem to be
Don't ask me about love
I am just an idea of life
my head is empty
but I remember everything
and my soul is a void
Don't ask me about my heart
my tears and my smiles
I am just a machine
made of steel
I was made for you
to ease your troubled mind
to please you
but now you're dead
I am left in this dark corner
a loner
Rusting
yet I can't die....

Somebody's friend.

I don't want to be someone's lover
I want to be someone's friend
to be the your morning star
and your evening sun
to sing along with your front door's grass
to take your hand , away we run
into the night
The silence of the moon
and the still ocean
I want to be someone's friend
to be anything that your lover can't
never scared to look into your eyes
a mirror before me
reflecting the darkness in me
pouring light into me
completing me
completing you
I don't want a romance
I just want a friendship
a taste of sweetness
without broken heart
and bitter tears
turning to dust ...
I want to be somebody's friend.

Question .....

I learnt right from wrong ,
I learnt there is no turning back
but going forward
I searched , I found
I asked ,

I received answers

In the middle of everything
There was question

Who am I ?

and what am I about?

then I was silent
mute

like a dead grave

I wonder , I strive

living a dull life
I no longer thrive
the question lingers
who am I ?

Hope ... Faith

With all the sustained pain that resides inside , with all the ache and the bitter tears , my face is wreathing in smiles , Do not get it wrong , this not a mask , I am still me , my eyes are the windows into my soul , you can still see the blues . I just do not want the pain to take over, there is a an empty gap devours my heart but I will fill it with  memories , the memories of all people and the friends that I've lost , or the dreams that have faded , I will swallow my tears , and think about love , happiness and joy. and that somehow , somewhere I will meet them again , I will catch my dreams , I will have it all back again ... Someday !!! It's hope .. It's all what I have left! ... Hope...

...And a flower died

My dear friend , oceans were between us , the distance was so unreal , I wish I could have been there for you  , to hold your tiny hands , to talk about the sun and the rain , I wish I could–somehow-  take your pain away , to listen to you telling me how it felt at night to be lonely behind your closed door , how it felt to feel like the walls were closing in on you . It hurts me when I think of you , that I was not there to say goodbye , to say that you are so dear to me , that I love you , that you are a precious flower to me , to tell you that your words still linger inside my head . I just wish I was there to see your face for the last time … just for the last time , for few second before your body goes six feet under to lay on the harsh ground , and the wet darkness hold you for eternity… as my thoughts float away a single tear paused on my cheek , the hurt , the grief ... I just wish I was there my dear friend….

Next Corner

You walked miles , you’ve seen the snow many times ,Crossed rivers, valleys.

You’ve seen happy faces ,drawn - haggard and sad ones .Under an old cherry tree you rest,you longer want to walk ,you want to build a home and a green garden and live the rest of your life away from troubles , but think again!!! Who knows what will you find in your next miles , Maybe there is a field  somewhere there , where the spring has no end , where the flowers sing and the birds dances on the rhythm of the gentle wind , the grass smells like a sugar candy , and the sky is a dream of many people before you … Keep walking my friend , you will find what you are looking for , Just do not give up , let your dream be your guide.

When the leaves fall.

At the beginning of every autumn
Cold breeze
The dawn kisses the sky's forhead
I taste your memories my dear
At the gate of the cemetery
To recall your smell
At your grave stone
The symphony of falling leaves
Echoes into my soul
Speechless
I cry your name
Every night
I locate a star
I give it your name
And I wish it was you
Watching over me
when I go to sleep
Your heart is under my pillow
Heartbeats
Will never leave  me ...

June Afternoon

You who is there
Those dreams
Those secrets
you planted last june
in your large yard
has it started to bloom?
Was it too cold?
was it too warm
will you dig it up again ?
You who is there
why do you look so old
in your thirties ?
Dull hair
Dull eyes
Among dull souls
You look so homeless
in your nintynine bedrooms castle
A horse , where is the saddle?
Questions ,
Silence me with a gesture
Speak to me
and let me know
to understand
why does your trees
look so similar to my trees
in this June afternoon
was it our dreams you planted ?

Casanova

You wait for him
he is not a saint
yet he has the look of a gentleman
Your heart sings
The bells ring
It's not your wedding
It's just another spring
You hold out your hand
for a dance
he takes another one's hand
You are left alone there
Surprised
Broken
he is not a saint
he just talk like a gentleman
The music plays your dreams
softly you cry
It was never real
It's not your wedding
It's just another spring
none has his heart
he is just a gentleman.

Human

Step out
Step out
Open your locked doors
let the sun greets your face
Let the wind plays with your hair
Clear your skies
Smoke goes away , away
Walk , Walk ...
It's alright
We make mistakes
we are all just human
Pain belong to us all
You are not lonely
You are not odd
Lay down
Lay down
rest that poor head
dream my friend
Dream of something beautiful instead

Mask, Mask , Mask , Masks .. and you .

Today,I decided to talk to you ,about these matters that with myself I too much discussed. About your matters.
and here I am trying to you by the hand and show you around your self.. from the inside , and ensure you that it's not late yet.
I want to say that I know you , I know who you're and I know what are you about. I know your true colors for I can see through you, I can see you , I can read you. and above all this I do understand you.
No , Do not be surprised my dear because someone (ME) knows about the person inside of you , the person who you tried desperately to bury. the person who you hid in that dark corner so none could see. who you tried to suffocate in you.
Many masks you've created and you're still creating , weaving more and more because you are not satisfied with it all. You're still looking for the perfect mask that may hide you from all the surroundings even from yourself. But It's not found yet.
I know you met quite a lot of people and each one loved one of your masks , Each one said :'I love you to death' , but It wasn't meant for you , It was for the mask you're wearing because the people get what they see and none of them saw you.
You met many people but they always had to leave , you always had to shut them out of your life because you knew that you couldn't continue , you knew it from the very start that It would never last because they loved you but the mask you were wearing, It was never you.
People came to your life but how quickly they went away? and you would comfort yourself and say 'They didn't love me , the real me , they loved the mask on me' Yes that's true because that's what you wanted them to see.
Don't you feel your loss? Don't you pity yourself? I am sure you do. because I can Imagine you how lonely you are with your cold masks ... because I can even see through you , deep within you heart a chamber is filled with emotions ,Overflowing from never having been let out. Until the point comes  , when they're so much too bear , alone in your room  , you give in , and everything come out in tears. and then you pick yourself back up , and wipe the evidence of tears from your face,you put a smile and walk back into the world like nothing is wrong,like you are not torn apart , but the truth stays behind locked within the confides of your bedroom.. your escape. 

But me , I am not fooled by you , I am not fooled by the face you wear , You're trying to give everyone the impression that you're secure that all is great and unruffled with you , within as well as without , that the water is calm and that you are in command and that you need no one.
I know that pretending is an art that's second nature with you...
You wear a mask ,You wear a thousand masks , masks that you're  afraid to take off and none of them is you..
even though when you could be off without it ...It's like a weapon that protect you , or like a drug which you are addicted to...yes you're addicted to play a role on the stage of life , your life.
You never want to divulge who are you , because you are scared of who are you , because you hate you existence , you hate being you , you want to be someone else. with a different name , a different address and a different face , a different language , because you are afraid that the others  wont accept you the way you are .
But now I'm telling you and holding out my hand for you!. I know you and I love you .. I love the beautiful person inside of you , I appreciate who you are ... I love you .. be you!!!!
don't hurt yourself to impress  others , don't hide yourself to make others love you , don't waste your youth because of someone...you are so beautiful by being you .. don't rot it , don't shatter your tomorrows because of some old dusted yesterdays , don't let it all burn away!
I will help you , I will hear you and I will hold you .. I will take you by my side and put you under my wings , I will save you , I will make you fall in love with yourself again. and To hell what the others think about you ,because while you will believe in yourself , you'll know that life is much worth living rather than hiding behind a mask , as mask that wont get you anywhere! but by being you , you will conquer everywhere .. all the closed doors  , to new life .. real life .. without a mask upon your face.

Voodoo Queen

She Danced like an african queen
into the night
Twisting back and forward
Moves of a goddess
Unseen magic
Her soul
The drums
Beautifully united
He was wrapped in
Thousand spells
Burning fire
inside of him
Yearning for her
for a kiss , for a touch
The picture went wild
Faster drums
Faster moves
High up , High up
As he gazed at her
Swallowed by the open fire
Nothing left but ashes
Aching inside his soul
Reviving it
Ropes enslaving him
to a passion
a ghost
Was never real to begin with!!!

Theater of broken souls

I am trapped inside of this play
A scenario , and a plot
Unseen audience
Some are satisfied
some are not
Walking down the stairs of life
With every step
A new character is born
It feels like forever
So tired
A broken winged bird
Struggling to fly
Careless world
My lights are not turned off
It's not over
A shriek of a laughter
A whine of another
My curtains have not fallen yet
My performance is yet to begin
With broken wings
Trying my last dance....

Broken Mirror

Let my face not fool you
It's a mask
from my old bag of tricks
The true me
is not caught by you
You may see my grin
but it's not me
Fooling you
not to see my sin
A surface
A lie
Deep inside
I am a broken mirror
Fragments
shattered portraits
It's when the words fail
Only silence can suffice...

Black Swan

As I took a step into your life
I knew a new chapter was written
In my head
I pictured a true romance
I made a frame
I thought of music
and a lovely dance
I had my favourite white dress
and the sun beams danced on my eyes
So bright
It blinded me
I never saw
It was a trap
Once I was there
The darkness fell on me
So late , So late
to realise
You were never real
You were nothing but pain
I tried to escape
I couldn't break the chain
My light within
Is slowly dying
I feel bare
You killed the beauty in me
A black swan was born
As I am leaving your life
I am leaving a white swan
leaving a part of me
There ....

Gypsy....

Somewhere along the road
My heart is buried
I wear some clothes
but they are not mine
The boots , and the hay crown
on my dry long hair
I told you at the very start
I am a gypsy
The road is my best friend
Nowhere is my sweet home
I told you
I am wild
Not easy to tame
As I left you asleep
and the moon played on your closed eyes
Hypnotised
In your dreams
Holding my hands
as I am walking alone again
A sad smile crosses my lips
Seeing your face
when you are awake
Holding nothing but a blanket
With a scent of mine
and a straw of my hay crown
That I once was there
With you.

Uninvited

Hours turned into days
days turned into months
As I am walking
The snow is falling
I know that
Years has passed me by
since the last time I saw your face
Your eyes ,
Your lips
And heard your voice
You still linger in me
Reside within
Has been the years nice to you?
Have you found the love?
Like a river flows
I think of you
A memory
All what is left with me
I am now nothing but a stranger
Uninvited
to step into your dreams
once again
I will just keep walking
on the snow
my footsteps
will be covered soon enough
Like it was never there
Just like me
when I left your world...
A very long t ime ago...

My beautiful friend

My summer is done
My leaves are falling
A long way to catch
a beautiful spring
Deserted hearts
Cold nights
Another day without you
My friend
I try to cover up the hurt
The pain
Swallow my bitter tears
I just have to go on
with my life
and accept the fate
that you are no longer a part
The ache fills my heart
Without you
My friend
You brought a smile to my lips
but all I feel is pain
hits me again ...

Your pieces are falling ....

I once knew you ,
Innocent and pure
True
few steps to heaven

where did the real you go ?

I am puzzled, Confused

Dazed

I know you

No more.

I look at you

but those eyes are not yours,

the smile

and the scorn

A touch

So cold..

A twisted charm

A fading sunset

Embracing the darkness

Yet , I am to convince myself

It's not you.

but something has take a toll on you

....................

My Illusionist

Not long ago ,

I held your hands ,

I felt the warmth within

Magic

A fantasy

then there was none

yet you were real enough

to love you

to dwell in your illusions

I slowly open my eyes

To stare at my bad luck

unfortunate

Pain is a dull knife

desperately

stabbing me

to bleed me

I close my eyes

Once again

to welcome myself

to your  world

away from my reality

Inside your illusion ....

A Child Again ...

Innocence within
Soft eyes
Bright dreams
Clear smile ,
Singing laugh
a river flow
Pure heart
a fresh start
A child again ,
a dream
to be a child again
Riding my fantasy
Laughing everything to happiness

Everything is possible

beyond my head
Love is everything
a crown on my head
is my middle name
A child again ...

The Confessor

Your lips are burning
for a kiss
your skin is glowing
A touch
You desire me
yet you're scared
you want
what you can never have
I am a confessor
Not your lost lover
I am the forbidden  fruit

I have daggers
You travelled for days
for months , and years
to get to me
Your eyes are shinning
Emotions locked
inside
On the hill

from my temple
I look down at you
move closer
I am real
move closer
I am your confessor
be mine
be under my spell
be my lover
forevermore...

Mother ...

My mother is a poem , I'll never be able to write, though everything I write is a poem to my mother.

A love ,
Pure , and strong
Stronger than hurricanes
Softer than a summer rain
Different
The depth
The width
Unique
A love
that takes me high
and softly embraces me down
into an ocean
I am not scared to drown
Your hands are around me
Taking me to a safe shore
Mother , My mother
You're so weak , yet so strong
Your love
make changes
within me
within many more
I love you ...

Pulling Your Strings

Stare into my eyes
I shall ensalve you
Mindbender

Strings , Strings

My puppet

I start the show

You're mine
Try to reach to me
Touch nothing
yet you can feel me
I am inside your head
Can't you hear me
Scream louder
I am sure your can't
Twisted thoughts
in a twisted mind
Don't try to escape
Noway out ,
Don't play with fire
it may burn you
yet from your ashes
I shall build wonders

SheWolf

A lonesome she-wolf
Nowhere is my home
on the run
always
and forever
I didnt break someone's heart
I am not in love
It was just a thought
I can only love me
My heart is a ship
a place for one
two can never go
Try no more
I am not looking your way
I will move forward
where the light comes from
I howl to the sea
in the middle of every night
With open eyes
I stare at the moon
I am never home.
Nothing is mine

Nothing is truly mine...

Wild , Wild Spirit

I no longer endure
A tank ,
I yearn for the vast ocean
Unleashed waves
Wind on my face
Free
I no longer can stand
the ground
I want to fly
Glide high , high

to the seventh sky
A hope
Shall never dies within me
The busy streets
The city lights
Noise
I am never a part
I never was
Green Green
singing butterflies
Never seen

somehow

I've been there ....

As I am fading away...

As I am fading away
I call your name
I know your eyes
tender
I know your heart
your pain
As I am fading away
I look through me
through everything
I break the memories
I tear the pictures

Tell me

how does it feel

to feel like this

tearing away

In the end
I erase myself
quietly
behind my closed doors
Nothing left
a gap
a hole
where my heart used to be..
As I am fading away...

PhoeniX

Tick Tack , Tick Tack
I give , You take
It's my life you shake
With all your lies
Promises
you fake
I twist away
as I give you a nod
you broke me
You had no mercy
I was left for dead
I won't give up
From ashes I shall rise
like the phoenix
Tick Tack , Tick Tack

The clock is ticking
I am coming for you
Watch every step you may take
Tick Tack
Tick tack ...
It's your life I shall shake
Tick Tack , Tick Tack

A getaway!!!

I run
Nowhere
I run as the moon
covers the land
Silver shinning blanket
Wolves's home
Into my ears
The song of thousand broken souls
Crying trees
Into ashes
I run
sound from the ground
beneath me
I wont stop
My heartbeats
Like a drum
Into the the night
Long , scary shadows
Dark woods
calling me
to nowhere
as tears streaming down my face
I left you there
without a word
without a touch
I know , Its cold
inside
but I won't stop
I will keep running
Running away
from everything
I have ever encountered!

Running , Running in circles....

This is it
Stepping out
Im leaving the old me
behind
A cold empty shell
The sun stabs my face
like sharp daggers
Freedom
I drop all my guns
I now
Defendless
I walk , I walk
I find me a door
A barren desert
I search for a sign
a light
to find my way
to a new me
but I only hear sad songs
somewhere out there
Burst of fine firely music
I used to hear
I close my eyes
half-expecting
but then there was nothing
Moving slowly to the closed door
I push
I step inside
I find myself back
at the very start!
The very beginning
at where I was before
The old me ,
An empty shell...
Ironic
I was but running in circles
I have always been
running
and running
in circles....

Don't be shallow , Be a deep water , A river that flow !!!

For so long!

I waited , I waited
for so long
I waited for you
to take my hand
and ask me to dance
to give us a chance
A dream
for so long
I waited for you to knock on my door
On your knees
without words
Asking
to be mine forevermore.
for so long
I waited for you to be my reality
and to protect my dreams
but now I know the truth
Do not breathe on my forehead
I don't want me to fall more
I will mend my broken heart
Once again
I will rebuild my crumblig walls
It's time for me to go
I am stumbling for the door
There's no turning back
It's time for me to go
for so long ,
I waited....

Remember me , Remember you !

I Remember you with love,
smiles and butterflies
No tears
I remember you under blue clear skies
under the shinning stars
A vast void , I dont know how to fill
It hurts
but wont take me over
A goodbye
but your love will always stay
as a gentle snow falling upon my tears
as a little first beam of a sunlight
Traces of you
linger here
your print in my heart
and my viens
wherever I may go
You are always by my side
a love like yours
It's hard to find!!

Quotes - Kahlil Gibran ( Sand and Foam )

* I am the flame
   and I am the dry bush,
   and one part of me consumes the other part.

** I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind , yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.

*** I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires.

**** Only once have I been made mute. It was when a man asked me, "Who are you?"
**** Remembrance is a form of meeting.
        Forgetfulness is a form of freedom.

***** How can I lose faith in the justice of life, when the dreams of those who sleep upon feathers are not more beautiful than the dreams of those who sleep upon the earth?

****** Strange, The desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain.

Purple Dreams

Young , Young hearts
loving , soft
full of life
a spring
the winter is so far behind
beautiful , green green grass
singing lips
shinning eyes
young , young hearts
the dreams are white
never leave my sight
the dreams are blue
the dreams are you
delicate touch
a tender first kiss
Its a purple dream
I am moving , flowing
A stream
You are my purple , Purple dream
My only dream!

Empty Chamber

Staring at the empty walls
A hole
a picture used to hang there
of you and me
Its not fair
Everything
Anything
Reminds me of yesterday
A lonely day
without you here
Grief is  a song
Of broken hearts's list
Share of pain
a sadness to swim through
Trying to reach for the surface
I can never find my way
back to you....

Left Alone

Same time ,
Same place ,
A coffee place
Face to face
with an empty chair
A dream
a past
broken wishes
As I walk this empty street
I feel alright
but not complete
without you
without our old joy
It's done
I knew , I could never undo it
since that day
you walked away
from me
from my world
and you headed for the exit.

Bubbles

The happiness is smiling
Before my eyes
I watch you shine
as I embrace your halo
The world float away
from us
We are living in a bubble
Beautiful dreams
the world unseen
too good to be true
with you
a tale , untold !
You are in the air
Inhale , exhale
I breathe you
I have you in the inside
deep inside
I never wanna breathe you out
In my heart
You shall live forever!!

The Mirror

Oceans are between us
but the sun that shine upon you
is the sun same that shine upon me
The moon and the blue clear sky
Equilibrium
Walking in the air
floating away
a clear laugh
a soft touch
lips on mine
I desire the whole thing
a piece won't satisfy me
so real , so good
I am fine !
Sigh
I stare at the mirror
I see your soft features
not mine
warm
I kiss the cold glass
Realise
I am kissing but the mirror before me
a fool
we are the world apart
yet so close , so near
I smile.

Angel without wings

With a wish
she wanted to fly
with broken wings
she knew , she would fall down
on the harsh ground
but she gave it a try
for his dear sake
Everything
is turning black
she no longer could see
bitter tears
she's been shedding
stains
her ivory skin
Picking up her fallen pieces
comforting her wounded pride
It may heal
but  the scars
remind her
It was all real....

All I see is you!!

Love is internal ,
I am locked within you .
A soul once was lost
now its found ,
No more tears .
Wreathed in smiles
I hear thousand of voices .
But none of them is yours
An existence outside of time
Eternality
I am never alone
Memories hold us stronger.  
As I lay on your door step
My dark hours are slowly fading away!

Lost Melody

Mistakes
All over again
Things you shouldnt have done
Scared ,
Drained, Disconnected
Sleepless night
Heavy , heavy head
Something is lost inside
You cant replace
None will ever fix you
The end is so near
The Candle is burning at both ends.
Everything you loved
Wasted
Crawling inside your mind
Face to face
with loneliness
Down below
Darkness
Ignite your soul
LET IT GLOW!!!

M.a.s.k

I wonder whether we don't all wear a mask at times.
A mask of happiness ,
a mask of grief ,
a mask of indifference...
A mask saying : Now you don't see me...